A brilliant poem by a great poet.

Death of a Naturalist
A brilliant poem by a great poet.

SAID JONATHAN AMES
I shit in my pants in the south of France.
Said Jonathan Ames
And once I dropped my load
In a bin bag down the old Kent Road
As well as shitting some bricks
When I tried sky diving as one of my party tricks.
I feel much better now.
THE WEST WING
Yeah
Watching The West Wing
Sometimes gave me goose pimples.
Though why they call them pimples
I can’t quite figure out;
I mean, how can you tell that under all them feathers
The goose actually has pimples?
You might just as well call them moose dimples;
Which would probably be just as accurate
And a lot easier to see than goose pimples
?
This is a little poems by Yeats about Constance Markievicz and her sister Eve Gore-Booth
Two girls in silk kimonos, both
Beautiful, one a gazelle
The older is condemned to death,
Pardoned, drags out lonely years
Conspiring amongst the ignorant
THE SINGULARITY
The singularity or
To be more precise
The technological singularity,
This thing for techno-utopians
Looking for immortality,
Is it real?
The singularitarians are banking
On it being so,
Seemingly willing to stay alive
For long enough,
By fair means or foul,
To benefit from this man-made God
That grants transcendence.
Artificial intelligence rules
They hope, despite
The doomsayers and techno-dystopians
Who claim it will malevolently bring about
The end of the world.
The end of civilisation as we know it
History and Hollywood are on their side;
Frankenstein, Skynet, the Matrix
Are their testimonials
When AI exceeds human intelligence
Everything changes
A smart AI breeds a smarter AI…and so on
Ad-infinitum, perhaps,
Leaving human intelligence without comprehension.
Driverless cars
Automated financial transactions
Language translation systems
Already better and faster than humans,
The list grows bigger daily.
Who needs humans, really?

THE VOCAL MINORITY
They are everywhere
Anti-austerity
Anti-Tory,
Anti-fracking,
Anti- social
Anti-war
Anti-peace
Anti-establishment
Anti-disestablishment
Anti-Christian
Anti-magnetic
Antichrist?

CHASING THE RAINBOW
Nights when we were young
We raced the wind;
Banshees in our wake
Dracula lying in wait.
We had left him oozing blood
From the stake wedged in his chest
In the Rainbow Cinema.
But with vampires you could never tell
Hair slicked back, stiff with Brylcreem,
Newly perched on our Raleigh three-speeds
(with dynamo)
We explored the world,
Our winkle-pickers pointing the way.
JUST WALKING
Walking…just walking
Away from the hum and drum
Away from the hub and bub
Away from the whine and grind of this rusty city
Couldn’t take it, they will say
Well, let them
This place isn’t all it’s cracked up to be
I saw a man today selling boxes to homeless people
Business was brisk
Did you know that the stone from the Pyramids
Would build a wall round England ten feet tall?
They say John the Baptist was gay
Funny the thoughts that come into your head when you’re walking
There was an old woman who lived in a hovel
She didn’t have any shoes but no one cared
She fell down one day
The hospital put her in a trolley for a few weeks
Then sent her away
Back to her hovel, her piss-stained bed, her broken radio
Her clock that didn’t tick, her bare cupboards, her solitary chair
Carried her up three flights, stood her in front of a walking frame
Said ‘take care of yourself, dear’
The whole fucking world anaesthetised by indifference
COMING OF AGE
Twenty one years of it;
I thought you might cry enough
You know – the tough gets going
When the going gets tough
But not a bit of it;
We are still going strong
I have wronged you on and off
But you have righted all the wrong
I hope you never get sick of it;
That love will carry you on
Me? I’m already in the thick of it
Clearing the path for another twenty one!

HUNTER S THOMPSON AIN’T DEAD!
A married couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda Watts, were arrested a few days ago for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people.
They sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold, and that each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.
Tito Watts said in his police statement: “I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of drugs. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up….”
Amanda Watts said in her police statement:” “We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and do drugs. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.”
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, and a baby alligator.