SINGER WITH THE BAND

I grew up and Ambrose grew older

We were together when he died

I was left alone to cry

I don’t know who I am

Please let me speak to Lord Delfont

I have been swindled

A fortune has slipped through my fingers

‘Lord Delfont is on the other line

Can he call you back?’

Mr Eric Morley please;

‘Eric, I have been evicted from my flat

I have nowhere to go’.

‘But Kathy, my dear,

You must have thousands stashed away’.

Now they have sent me to St Lukes Mental Hospital;

‘Kathy Kirby’s here – in a mink coat,

I mean, has she come to entertain us?’

What’s the matter with your hair, Kathy?’

‘It’s mummy, she’s been pulling it out again’.

‘When I wear dark glasses, don’t you think I look like Norma?’

‘Norma?’

‘Norma Desmond, you know, Sunset Boulevard’.

Someone has stolen my legs

I cannot possibly go on stage

I am not the real Kathy Kirby

All the girls in the street have Kathy Kirby legs now.

I am being held prisoner in my flat

I am being possessed by Ambrose

The Queen Mother is in me.

“Well, tell her to piss off!”

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