SEX, CHOCOLATE AND STATINS

SEX, CHOCOLATE AND STATINS

Want to lower your risk of heart disease and stroke?

The answer is to have more sex,

At least two orgasms a week.

This will reduce your risk of a cardiovascular event,

But only if you are a man.

For women – well, you have to take your chances!

Eating chocolate can also reduce your risk

As does listening to music

Though Nessum Dorma might be more beneficial than Taylor Swift.

Moving out of the city, living with others, having a good boss

Also helps;

But men with a high orgasmic frequency do best of all.

So forget about Statins;

Chocolates, Vivaldi, and bashing the bishop

Are much more beneficial

And a lot more enjoyable.

LOOK, NO HANDS!

 

LOOK, NO HANDS!

 Even if I had no hands

I would be ambidextrous

Ac-dc in a strange sort of way

Though women would still be kings

Or should that be queens?

 

Even if I had no legs

I would still walk tall

Play legless football

If the fancy took me,

Roller-skate differently, that’s all

 

Even if I had no mouth

I would still speak out

Words would continue to pour forth

I would not be silenced

I would speak from the heart

 

Even if I had no eyes

I would still see plenty

Believing would be seeing

And if only in my mind’s eye

My vision would still be twenty-twenty