KATHY KIRBY – ICON

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now available as a paperback on Amazon

KATHY KIRBY ALWAYS WANTED STARDOM, AND FOUND IT AT THE AGE OF 16 UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF RENOWNED BANDLEADER BERT AMBROSE. BEFORE TOO LONG SHE WAS THE MAIN SINGER IN HIS BAND, AND NOT LONG AFTERWARDS HIS MISTRESS – DESPITE THE FORTY-YEAR AGE GAP.      SHE HAD EVERYTHING; A REMARKABLE VOICE, STUNNING LOOKS, AND WAS SOON A MAJOR TV AND RECORDING STAR. ‘BRITAIN’S ANSWER TO MARILYN MONROE’, THE NEWSPAPER SCREAMED CONSTANTLY.                       YET BY HER LATE THIRTIES SHE WAS A FALLEN STAR. SHE STOPPED PERFORMING COMPLETELY, BECAME A RECLUSE, AND EVENTUALLY DIED IN POVERTY. SO WHAT WENT WRONG FOR KATHY KIRBY? THIS PLAY ANSWERS THAT QUESTION.

Playing at the WHITE BEAR THEATRE  138 Kennington Park Rd, London SE11 4DJ, this coming October. Watch this space for further details.

LEANING TO THE LEFT

LEANING TO THE LEFT

Ah yes

Leaning to the left

Seems to be all the rage these days

Maybe it’s just a phase

You know

Like leaning to the right

Which, as everybody now knows,

Was just a pile of shite.

Leaning one way or th’other

Won’t necessarily please your mother

Stand up straight!’

Seemed to have been her message

Whenever I wavered from the straight and narrow

‘How many leaned to either side

On that long, laboured march from Jarrow?’

TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

TWINKLE,TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

A star may look like heaven

From afar

But in reality

It is hell in a jar;

Not a small gold object that twinkles

But a furnace of endless fire

A million miles from being

An object of desire

COWBOYS AND INDIANS

THE WILD WEST
The Wild West has migrated east
The Middle East near and far
Where the horse has been superseded
By the pick-up, the land cruiser and the car
They race across vast deserts firing bullets in the air
If there’s a name on any bullet
Well, no one seems to care
Shooting up the town was once the pastime of the bad guys
Now it is blowing up the houses
And killing little girls and boys.
The bombs rain down on everyone and everything
Where once it was just arrows
Fired by some pesky redskin.
Looking down the barrel of a gun
Can be intimidating
When it’s eighteen foot long
There are no six-guns or shotguns any more
But rocket launchers, machine guns
And others of such enormous bore
Playing cowboys and Indians was once a pleasant game
But when your opponent must be beheaded
Then it isn’t quite the same.

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

Nikolay Gumilev 1886 – 1921, was an influential Russian poet, literary critic, traveler, and military officer. He was arrested on allegation of participation in a monarchist conspiracy known as “Petrograd military organization”, and executed by firing squad in 1921. The case was officially declared as “completely fabricated” and all victims rehabilitated by Russian authorities only in 1992.

THE SIXTH SENSE by Nikolay Gumilev

Fine is the wine that is in love with us,
The goodly bread we wait for from the oven,
And woman whom we have possessed, at last,
After we've suffered under yoke her own.

But what to do if a red sunset freezes
Above a sky that's drowning in cold,
Where there is silence and unearthly peace,
What can one do with the immortal ode?

You can't eat it, or drink, or even kiss ...
The moment fled, and next one now hovers,
And we wring hands, but yet once more miss -
We are condemned to miss and miss it over.

Just as a boy, forgetting games and friends,
Sometimes beholds the girls bath in a river
And, knowing nothing of the loving trends,
Is yet tormented by a hidden fever;

As once in time on overgrowing banks
The moisten creature holed in despair
Of self impotence, feeling on its back
Wings - still unformed and very feeble pair, -


So century after century - when, O Christ?
Under the knife of liberal arts and nature
The flesh breaks down and the spirit cries
As they bear organs of the sixth sensation.

DID ROY ROGERS EVER READ THE ILIAD?

DID ROY ROGERS EVER READ THE ILIAD?

If I had a classical education

I could talk about the Greek Classics

Read the Iliad, and recognise dactylic hexameter:

I would know of the quarrel between Agamemnon and Achilles

Understand  about  the Odyssey, Homer, Diomedes, Poseidon

And other such matters –

Like who the fuck Perseus was?

But I don’t;

Instead of Greek Mythology

I read about Roy Rogers, Buck Jones, Johnny Mack Brown

And how Billy The Kid was left-handed;

About the gunfight at the OK Corral,

And who shot Jesse James in the back;

About The Lone Ranger and Tonto

And other important stuff like that;

Kemo Sabe?

I wonder if Roy Rogers ever read The Iliad?

MONOLOGUE

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MONOLOGUE

This is not an art society

This is a money society

A pleasure society

With most in an amorphous state

Demanding forms for themselves.

Where is the curer of souls;

He who gives advice to the lovelorn

As well as the thief and the life-taker?

There are no real answers;

So what do you do?

Perhaps the black youth had the answer

Waving a train timetable at me as I passed him by;

He had missed his stop and was shouting

‘You gonna’ help me out? Have you got a dollar’?

‘That depends’, I mouthed silently

‘On whether you have a gun or not’.

Luckily for me he didn’t.

GERONTOCRACY RULES

GERONTOCRACY RULES

Gerontocracy is a word I do not like

Gerontocracy is popularised by silly  old fuckers

Who frequently fall off their (motor) bikes

Gerontocracy is for coffin-dodgers

Who can now afford the platinum model

And peddle dreams that are no longer theirs to peddle

Gerontocracy is doddery rule by senile fools

Who believe they can live forever:

Gerontocracy rules – but only in good weather.

LUNCH OF BLOOD

This is a poem by Saul Bellow. Not sure if it has a title.

“Mice hide when hawks are high;
Hawks shy from airplanes;
Planes dread the ack-ack-ack;
Each one fears somebody.
Only the heedless lions
Under the Booloo tree
Snooze in each other’s arms
After their lunch of blood –
I call that living good!”

THE BATTLE OF WAPPING (1986)

THE BATTLE OF WAPPING (1986)

They pushed us once, they pushed us twice

Their steeds with nostrils flared

They forced us back with horse and shield

As if we weren’t there.

They bussed them in from out of town

The workers who replaced us,

No union man would cross the line

No scabs would dare to face us.

*

We were bopping in Wapping

Till the fuzz rolled up,

We were copping in Wapping

Till Murdoch fucked it up.

Don’t buy the Sun, don’t buy the Sun

Have some fun, burn the fucking Sun

*

The miners they had just been ruined

We should have known the score,

But Thatcher’s thugs took us for mugs

So we had to come back for more.

For one long year we held our ground

We wouldn’t let the bastards pass,

Till Murdoch said ‘block print is dead

So yield you scum or kiss my ass’.

*

We were bopping in Wapping

Till the fuzz rolled up,

We were copping in Wapping

Till Murdoch fucked it up,

Don’t buy the Sun, don’t buy the Sun

Have some fun, burn the fucking Sun.

*

St Katherine’s Dock looked like a war zone

Awash with bleeding heads and limbs,

While the backsliders, scabs and careerists

Sat in the shade sipping their Pimms,

Wapping is the new Jerusalem

Fleet Street has been; now Fleet Street is gone

Read all about it, everybody shout it

Murdoch’s steamroller is still rolling on.

*

We were bopping in Wapping

Till the fuzz rolled up,

We were copping in Wapping

Till Murdoch fucked it up.

Don’t buy the Sun, don’t buy the Sun

Have some fun, burn the fucking Sun.