FIVE MINUTE POEM

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a poem in five minutes; yeah, I know, it shows!

FIVE MINUTE POEM

The Holy Spirit uni-sexed

And Christ cross-dressed

The liturgical variations are endless

Perhaps Mary sporting a head-dress?

Bring back sin

Masturbation is in – again

Not that it was ever really out

It’s just that people don’t like to flout

Their little peccadilloes ad nauseam

Otherwise we could surely expect a wanking symposium.

GOOD ADVICE

The-First-Bloomsday-1954-

WRITING, DRINKING, WANKING

You can either buy me a drink or fuck off
Were the first words Patrick Kavanagh said to me.
He was hunched over an empty glass in the corner of McDaids,
Gobbing and spitting into the embers of the open fire
I arrived here nearly thirty years ago,
Having spent two days traipsing the road from Monaghan,
But I wanted to be in Dublin, y’know?
Where I thought the real writers were.
Real writers me arse!
They spend all their time drinking and talking about writing
And none of it doing any

He nearly took my hand off grabbing the drink I had got him,
Writing should be like wanking –
Best done in the privacy of your own room