PLAYER

AGENTS UNITED

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AGENTS UNITED
The vultures have been circling
And will be for some time
Their Gordon Gekko faces
All suntanned and sublime
They utter words of wisdom such as On yer bike
And when pressed for clarification
They say things like;
It’s money down the drain
And football is a funny old game
Aim for the sky and you’ll reach the ceiling or the door
Aim for the ceiling and you will stay on the floor.
Success in football is all in the mind
You never lose a game if your opponent doesn’t score
Football is about being better
Than you were the day before
So set your goals high
And don’t stop until you get there
And don’t dream about being a footballer
Dream about being a millionaire.

THE MANAGER’S WORDS OF WISDOM

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THE MANAGER’S WORDS OF WISDOM
The best player on the planet.
When he plays on snow
He doesn’t leave any marks
He can’t walk on water – yet
Though when he farts there’s always sparks

I am like God
I never get ill
I am always right.
Football is a game of two halves
And is mostly a right load of shite

I wouldn’t say I’m the best there is
But I am in the top one
And that’s the only group to be in
If I walked on water
Some would say it’s because I can’t swim

Some believe football is a matter of life and death
But it is much more important than that
In football as in life
You won’t get far
If you don’t know where the goalposts are

The best way to relax
Is to drink pink champagne
Before the match and after
Then losing five nil
Won’t seem a total disaster.