PECKER DUNNE – last of the travellers…contd.

A campfire. Singing and dancing. Pecker, wearing a hat is seated, drinking and enjoying himself. A red-haired girl, throws herself down beside Pecker. Soon they are laughing and cuddling.. 

PD:     What’s your name?

       MARY:   Me name’s Mary. What’s yours?

PD:     Arra, you can call me anything, so long as it’s not too early in the morning.

       MARY:   I like your hat. Where did you get it?

PD:     Well, I’ll tell you now; I was buskin’ over in Dingle a few days ago and this fella said to me ‘I’ll give you two euros if you play a good tune for me’, so I said ‘give me four and I’ll play a better one’. I did, and he was so happy he said ‘play me another one now and I’ll give you me hat’. I did, and now I’m wearing it. ‘That’s a good hat now, look after it’, he said, ‘I paid 140 dollars for that hat in Australia’

        MARY:  Are you goin’ to wear it to Puck Fair?

PD:     Begod I am. They might crown me King of The Fair tomorrow with that hat on me head. (the girl laughs, and Pecker says in an aside) I think I’m alright here.

      MARY:    Will you give me a dance at the fair?

PD:     I surely will. I’ll even give you two for good measure. (he drags her to her feet)  We’ll have a practice one now.

They dance close together for a moment. Suddenly there is a roar and a man jumps between them and shoves them apart.

MAN: That’s my wife, stranger. What do you say to that?

PD:     A careless man and his wife are soon parted, that’s what I say.  She needs controlling, man.

MAN:  Well, if she does itself, I’m the one to do it. 

He drags the girl away and shoves her to one side, then kicks out at Pecker and knocks him to the ground. Then he takes off his shirt and stands in the pose of a fighter, his bare fists raised. Someone shouts ‘clear a space’ as Pecker rises and takes off his shirt. He, too, raises his fists.  They circle each other for a while, throwing punches and missing. Then Pecker connects with a wild swing to the head. His opponent goes down, pole-axed.  He lays there not moving; someone comes up and tests for a pulse at the side of his neck.

MAN: There’s no pulse. I think he’s dead.

Pandemonium on the site for a few minutes. Screams and shouting. Then a police whistle is heard. A Guard Sergeant marches on and drags Pecker off.

Lights dim, then we see Pecker singing PORTLAOISE GAOL (c Pecker Dunne)

PD:                 For thirty years I’ve been a tinker,                                                                      I’ve tramped the mountain and the glen  I’ve courted girls in every county,        and I’ve fought the very best of men                                                                      I drank an awful lot of porter, I slept in sunshine, snow and gale                                   But the life I loved was taken from me, when I spent two years in Portlaoise    gaol.             

Portlaoise gaol it was tamed the tiger – try, me boys, to get bail                                T’was many a heart was stopped inside – inside the walls of Portlaoise gaol.                              

I joined a camp outside Kilorglin, the night before they crowned the king There was song and dance and plenty porter,                                                         with our wagons formed around the ring                                                           Then a foxy lass sat down beside me, bedad says I, I’m alright here                       But her husband rose and leapt between us,                                                     and knocked me down with a kick in the ear                                                                I hit him hard below the navel,, he hit the ground with a might wail                   His neck was broke, he died in seconds,                                                              and I spent Puck Fair in Portlaoise gaol.                                   

 Portlaoise gaol it was tamed the tiger – try, me boys, to get bail                               T’was many a heart was stopped inside – inside the walls of Portlaoise gaol.

End of scene

The campsite. A man, a local farmer comes into view, in a temper.

MAN: Hey, ya pikey bastard, did you steal that bit of lead off the roof of my cowhouse the other day?

PD:     I’ve been passing this way the last twenty years and the devil a bit of lead I ever saw on that roof. A few galvanised sheets, and they fallin down with the rust, but no lead.

MAN: I’ll call the Guards. I’ll get you moved on.

PD:     They won’t find any lead here.

MAN: Well, if it wasn’t you it was them friends of your in that transit van.

PD:     They weren’t friends of mine, whoever they were.

MAN: Well they were over from Rathkeale way then. That town is full of pikeys and knackers. They sold my wife a roll of carpet and when she unrolled it there was a big square missing in the middle.

PD:     More fool her then. Is that what this is about? Someone sold your wife dodgy bit of carpet and you blame me for it. How do you know they were travellers? Maybe they were townies.

MAN: They were pikeys. Just like you.

PD:     That’s not a very nice word. We’re travelling people, not pikeys.

MAN: Well you’re all tarred with the same brush, aren’t you?  Steal anything that’s not nailed down, you lot would.

PD:     Even invisible lead. How would it be if I called you a sod-buster or a cockie, or something else derogatory.

MAN: Look, why don’t up sticks and just head off. You know you’re not wanted around here.

PD:     It’s still a free country – I think

. He  sings a few verses from THE TRAVELLING PEOPLE ( (c) Ewan McColl)

PD:                 I’m a freeborn man of the travelling people
Got no fixed abode with nomads I am numbered
Country lanes and bye ways were always my ways
I never fancied being lumbered

Well we knew the woods and all the resting places
The small birds sang when winter time was over
Then we’d pack our load and be on the road
They were good old times for the rover

In the open ground where a man could linger
Stay a week or two for time was not your master
Then away you’d jog with your horse and dog
Nice and easy no need to go faster

And sometimes you’d meet up with other travellers
Hear the news or else swop family information
At the country fairs we’d be meeting there
All the people of the travelling nation

I’ve made willow creels and the heather besoms
And I’ve even done some begging and some hawkin’
And I’ve lain there spent rapped up in my tent
And I’ve listened to the old folks talking

All you freeborn men of the travelling people
Every tinker rolling stone and gypsy rover
Winds of change are blowing old ways are going
Your travelling days will soon be over

I’m a freeborn man of the travelling people
Got no fixed abode with nomads I am numbered
Country lanes and bye ways were always my ways
I never fancied being lumbered

STREET CORNER – a short play

STREET CORNER

By

      Tom O’Brien

Characters

Shirl….teens

Jan…..teens

Al……teens

Kev…teens

NWM ….40’s

Period 1980’s

A street somewhere in London. ( Location can be changed if desired) Empty shop with FOR SALE sign. Garage attached to end of shop with door missing. Strewn with rubbish inside. Pavement – and presumably road – runs away to right of stage.. Another road runs at right angles to left of stage. The actors are free to stand, sit, or move within the setting as the action progresses. SHIRL, JAN and AL are on stage at curtain rise.

            SHIRL:          You go.

            AL:                 No, you go.

            SHIRL:          No-o, you go.

            AL:                 You go.

            JAN:               Bleedin’ hell!  I’ll go

            SHIRL:          Alright. Get me a coke. Diet.

            AL:                 Yeah. The same.

            JAN:               (not moving) Well Then?

            AL:                 Well what?

            JAN:               Money like. It costs ya know.

            AL:                 (hands her a fiver) Get ‘em out of that.

            SHIRL:          ‘Ere! Where’d you get a fiver? You was skint earlier

            AL:                 Sold a computer game, didn’t I?

            SHIRL:          (suspicious) ‘Oo to?

            AL:                 Fat Annie

            SHIRL:          She closes early Thursdays

            AL:                 She didn’t today. Ask Kev.

Jan has moved away at this point. Shirl shouts after her.

SHIRL:          Jan! Make mine a lilt instead  (To Al)  Where is Kev anyway?          We said six.

AL:                 He’ll be here.

SHIRL:          Is it true he fancies Nadine?

AL:                 Nadine who?

SHIRL:          The Nadine. The one who told you to sod off at the party.

AL:                 She never.

SHIRL:          She wouldn’t be seen dead with him anyway. She likes a good time.

AL:                 What are you doing here then?

SHIRL:          Who says I’m goin’ with Kev?

AL:                 Aren’t you?

KEV saunters up at this point.

            KEV:              Alright?

            AL:                 Alright.

            SHIRL:          You’re late.

            KEV:              Me mum’s sick. I had to do the housework.

            SHIRL:          That’s a laugh!

            KEV:              Okay, I was robbing a bank.

            SHIRL:          They’re closed, stupid.

            KEV:              A launderette then. Will that do?

Jan returns with the drinks at this point.

            JAN:               You’re late.

            KEV:              She already said that.

            JAN:               Well, you are.

Kev watches her handing out the drinks.

            KEV:              Where’s mine?

            JAN:               You weren’t here.

            KEV:              I’m here now.

            SHIRL:          Come on, Jan, we’ll get another.

After they go, Kev gets out his cigarettes out and they light up. Al offers his coke.

            AL:                 You get it?

KEV:              Yeah. Fifteen squids. You already got a fiver, so if I give you another that makes us quits. Right?  ( he hands over a fiver)

AL:                 (trying to work it out) Yeah, yeah. (pause) And she called you a thicko!

KEV:              Who did?

AL:                 Her. That Nadine.

KEV:              (laughs) Plankton head

AL:                 Plankton?

KEV:              That’s what they called her at school. Plankton head. Y’know… seaweed? Her hair?

AL:                 (vague) Oh, right

Shirl and Jan return. Shirl hands a coke to Kev

            SHIRL:          Don’t say I never give you nuffing.

She shoves the change in Kev’s pocket. He takes it out and counts it.

            SHIRL:          It’s all there.

            JAN:               Guess what?

            KEV:              You’re pregnant.

JAN:               Don’t be stupid. Someone nicked all the lead of the church hall roof last night.

SHIRL:          Yeah. Old what’s-is-name, the neighbourhood watch bloke, was sayin’ in the shop…

JAN:               I thought roofs was all slates?

KEV:              Flashing.

JAN:               You what?

KEV:              The flashing. The bits that go round the edges. They’re lead.

SHIRL:          Clever, ain’t ya!

JAN:               What’s anyone want to nick that for?

AL:                 Scrap metal. There’s money in scrap metal.

SHIRL:          Yeah? Anyway, he reckons they’re bound to catch whoever done it. They found a knife up there…

Al drops his coke.

AL:                 Shit! (he picks it up) Sod this. Who wants a beer?

JAN:               I thought we was goin’ to the pictures?

KEV:              Plenty of time yet. (pause) Comin’ Al?

They move away. Jan takes a mirror from her purse and studies her face.

JAN:               Which on d’ya fancy then, Shirl?

SHIRL:          Which one d’you fancy?

JAN:               You first.

SHIRL:          No, you.

JAN:               Kev’s nice.

SHIRL:          You fancy him?

JAN:               Yeah.

SHIRL:          I know. Let’s toss (searches her bag) You got ten pee?

Jan hands her ten pee.

SHIRL:          Best of three, right? (she tosses)

JAN:               Heads.

Jan gives a squeal of delight when she wins. She loses the next two and makes a face.

            JAN:               Your hair is nice. Where’d you get it done?

SHIRL:          Me sister’s. I nearly died. I’m stiin’ there with all this gunk on my head and he comes in. You know, TONY, her fella? And she goes ‘you’re drunk’, and he goes’ you’re ugly but I’ll be sober later’. Then she goes, ‘you pig’., and he goes…

JAN:               And was he?

SHIRL:          Was he what?

JAN:               Drunk.

SHIRL:          I s’pose so. He kissed me when she was out of the room.

JAN:               He never! You want to be careful. Married men only want one thing.

SHIRL:          They ain’t married, are they. Anyway, I wouldn’t mind. He’s kinda hunky…

Shirl pauses as someone comes in their direction. It’s the Neighbourhood Watch man

            SHIRL:          Oh-oh. It’s old what’s-is-name

NWM:            Well, if it ain’t the terrible twins. Like hanging around empty properties, do you?

JAN:               That’s our business.

NWM:            And mine. Got to make sure nothing goes on inside, see? No drinking or smoking. No raves.

SHIRL:          Raves around this dump! You gott’a be joking!

JAN:               What’cha want anyway?

NWM:            I’m looking for Al Massey. You know him?

SHIRL:          Yeah, we know him.

NWM:            Seen him lately? (both shake their heads) If you do see him tell him I want a word. Before the cops do.

JAN:               What’s ‘e done, then?

NWM:            Why should he have done anything?

JAN:               You said….

NWM:            Never assume, young lady. Only an ass assumes. I would merely like to know why a knife with the initials AM should be laying on the roof of the church hall. Maybe he can tell me before I mention it to the law.

SHIRL:          Don’t they know?

NWM:            Not about the knife. Yet.

JAN:               Why haven’t you told them?

NWM:            His dad and me, we go back a long way. I just can’t believe…(pause) So if you see him tell him I want a word. ( he moves away)

JAN:               Wot you reckon. Shirl?

SHIRL:          About what?

JAN:               Al, was it him on the roof?

SHIRL:          Him and Kev, you mean. All for one and one for all, that’s their motto, innit?

JAN:               Not with me it ain’t! I’m not sharing…

At this point Kev and Al can be seen returning

SHIRL:          They’re coming back. Quick….!

The two girls move up the alley way and disappear behind the garage.

            KEV:              Where’ve they got to then?

AL:                 The bog probably. Girls are always in the bog doin’ things to themselves.

They sit beside the garage and open two cans of beer

            KEV:              We goin’ to the pictures or what?

            AL:                 Or what. Yeah.

            KEV:              How are we, like, goin’ to pair off?

            AL:                 I don’t know. Wot’cha think?

            KEV:              Jan’s okay.

            AL:                 Yeah. I know. Let’s toss. ( he produces a coin)

            KEV:              Heads. (he loses) Oh well…

Al looks down the road. He sees someone in the distance.

            AL:                 What? (listens) Yeah. We got it. Thanks. (to Kev) That was Tony   

            KEV:              I heard.  That Shirl’s sister, she gives him a hard time.

            AL:                 Yeah.

            KEV:              It’s not his fault he can’t get a job.

            AL:                 No.

            KEV:              Fifty sovs, that’s all he needed.

            AL:                 Yeah. Well, he’s got it now, ain’t he.

            KEV:              Yeah.

            AL:                 D’you reckon it’s true what Shirl said about the knife?

            KEV:              I reckon. I s’pose the old bill will be around.

            AL:                 Yeah. What ya think they’ll do?

            KEV:              (shrugs) A knife is just a knife. They can’t prove anything.

            AL:                 What about fingerprints?

Shirl and Jan have heard enough by now. They come running out.

JAN:               And initials. It had your initials on it, stupid. Old what’s-is-name has been round. He said so.

KEV:              (hands them beers) Have a beer. All that listening must be thirsty work.

SHIRL:          We wasn’t listening.

KEV:              What were you doin’ back there – sunbathing?

SHIRL:          Very funny! It was only a game. We couldn’t help hearing

AL:                 A stupid game.

JAN:               Not half as stupid as nicking that lead.

AL:                 We didn’t.

JAN:               Pull the other one.

AL:                 We Didn’t!

JAN:               He found your knife.

AL:                 Not mine.

JAN:               It’s got your initials on…

AL:                 Not my initials. (he takes a knife from his pocket and hands it ot her) That’s my knife

SHIRL:          Whose then?

KEV:              Maybe it was Tony’s

SHIRL:          Don’t be stupid, Kev!

JAN:               Shirl. Tony?…Anthony…

SHIRL:          Oh shit!

JAN:               Wot’s ‘is surname.

SHIRL:          I don’t know, do I? ( pause)  I think it’s Moran. Stupid…stupid… You knew? (to Kev)

KEV:              He told us earlier on. He hid the lead last night and got rid of most of it this morning. What bits were left he said we could have. (he holds up his beer) Cheers Tony!

They are all silent, finishing their drinks.

SHIRL:          What will happen now? To Tony, I mean?

AL:                 He might be lucky. Then again he might not.

KEV:              (to Shirl) And all because your sister wanted an expensive birthday present.

Kev finishes his beer and tosses it into the pile in the garage.

KEV:              Picture time.

Kev and Al begin to move away.

            AL:                 You comin’ or what?

Shirl and Jan look at each other for a moment, then shrug and follow.

Curtain.

LIFE AINT WOT IT USED TO BE (continued)

Scene 3

Lionel’s grubby room. Empty bottle, papers, rubbish etc scattered everywhere.  An older Lionel is seated in a grubby chair, smoking a weed, a drink in his hand.

LIONEL: (to audience)

When you think about it, I only had six or seven years of real success. The rest of my life was one long struggle.

.Between 1959 and 1966, I made – and spent – more money than any reasonable human being could count. And I mean literally spent millions. Bloody millions!

What did I do with it all? I don’t really know. I knew I was earning a lot of money – and I let other people get on with taking care of it. I signed whatever I was asked to sign. If I wanted something – a piano, a new car, a holiday abroad, I just signed for it.

Pause

The last show I was involved in was COSTA PACKET – another Joan Littlewood production in 1972. Another disaster.

Pause

I have created nothing for the stage in the last 15 years. What was I doing? I hear you ask.  To be honest, I don’t remember much – apart from attending bloody bankruptcy meetings every other bloody day!

He jumps up and rages at the audience

LIONEL:

Look at me! You see before you a 57 year old loser. A has-been. I’m deader than the  deadest dodo

We hear music in the background. Maybe the lights change and a couple of musicians appear. Lional sings

“Life Ain’t Wot It Used T’Be”
(To the tune of “Fings Ain’t Wot They Used T’Be”)

I sold all my rights to Ollie,
Now I feel like a right old Wally,
Cos life ain’t wot it used to be—
The money’s gone, and I’m skint, you see!

The royalties dried up, it’s a proper shame,
Now I’m stuck in the rain with no one to blame.
I thought I’d be rich, livin’ life so free,
But life ain’t wot it used to be!

(Spoken interlude, cheeky tone)
Oi, Lionel, mate, what’ve I done?
I signed it all away for a bit of fun!
Now I’m skint, I’m broke, I’m up the creek,
And all I’ve got’s this bleedin’ sheet… music!

(Back to singing)
The pubs are shut, the booze is gone,
I’m singin’ the blues from dusk till dawn.
I thought I’d be smilin’, livin’ carefree,
But life ain’t wot it used to be!

Scene 4

Lionel’s flat, 1966. The room is dimly lit, and Lionel is sitting alone, staring at a photo of Alma. There’s a knock at the door, and John enters.

JOHN:
(softly)
Lionel, I’ve got some bad news.

LIONEL:
(looking up)
What is it, John?

JOHN:
(taking a deep breath)
It’s Alma. She’s… she’s gone.

LIONEL:
(stunned)
Gone? What do you mean, gone?

JOHN:
(softly)
She passed away last night. Cancer.

LIONEL:
(breaking down)
No… no, it can’t be.

JOHN:
(placing a hand on Lionel’s shoulder)
I’m sorry, Lionel.

LIONEL:
(to the audience)
Alma was my muse, my friend, my confidante. And now she’s gone.

(He picks up the photo of Alma and holds it close.)

LIONEL:
(softly)
I should have been there for her. I should have…

JOHN:
(interrupting)
Don’t do this to yourself, Lionel. Alma wouldn’t want that.

LIONEL:
(sighing)
You’re right, John. But it doesn’t make it any easier. (pause) You know, she asked me to marry her once. And do you know what I said? I’d think about it. What was there to think about? I loved her – and she loved me. Maybe if we had got married she would be still alive.

JOHN:                                                                                                                          That’s stupid talk, Lionel. The cancer was too far gone. Terminal.

LIONEL:                                                                                                                          I know she’d been feeling unwell for months. Do you think she knew?

JOHN:                                                                                                                             I don ‘t think so. I think she just put it down to some stomach problems. (pause)
Lionel, you’ve got to get help. You can’t keep living like this.
LIONEL:
(bitterly)
What’s the point, John? I’ve lost everything

They sit in silence for a moment, the weight of Alma’s death hanging in the air. They sing the song  ALMA MY STAR

“Alma, My Star”
(A bittersweet ballad for Alma Cogan)

Verse 1
Alma, my star, you burned so bright,
A melody in the quiet night.
Your laughter danced, your voice would soar,
But now the stage is dark once more.

Pre-Chorus
I held your hand, but not your heart,
Too scared to play my part.
A question asked, a moment missed,
Now all I have is this…

Chorus
Alma, my love, my shining light,
Gone too soon, like a song in the night.
I hear your echo, soft and low,
In every note I’ll never let go.

Verse 2
You asked me once, “Will you stay?”
I hesitated, turned away.
Now all I have are memories,
Of what could’ve been, and what will never be.

Pre-Chorus
The world still hums your sweet refrain,
But I’m left here in the rain.
A melody I can’t complete,
Without your heart to beat.

Chorus
Alma, my love, my shining light,
Gone too soon, like a song in the night.
I hear your echo, soft and low,
In every note I’ll never let go.

Bridge
If I could turn back time, my dear,
I’d hold you close, I’d make it clear.
But now you’re gone, and all I see,
Is a world that’s lost its harmony.

Chorus
Alma, my love, my shining light,
Gone too soon, like a song in the night.
I hear your echo, soft and low,
In every note I’ll never let go.

Outro
Alma, my star, you’ll always shine,
A timeless tune, a love divine.
Though you’re gone, you’ll never fade,
Forever here, in every song I’ve made.

LIGHTS FADE, end of scene

LIFE’S LOST SOMETHING-OR-OTHER

RUMINATIONS

The world is full of poets
And most of them know it
Rhyming couplets with fucklets
Never thinking ‘dark chocolates’
Most of them over some visionary hill
Buying notebooks they will never fill
Looking for loves lost something-or-other
Or wondering why they never hated their mother.
Oh yes, a poet’s life is thankless
Almost as bad as a life lived wankless

THE MEANING OF LIFE

 

THE MEANING OF LIFE

At the forefront of knowledge

Is the edge of uncertainty

Where reality is really

Only a projection of information

At the rim of the universe.

There, black holes loiter with intent.

They seek to break the sacred laws of physics

Which, as everyone knows, state

That information cannot be destroyed.

This is the point of no return.

All the information that ever existed is here

And black holes are held at bay – for now

What is inside is not inside

And what is outside is not outside.

We are merely holographic projections

Rendered flesh at this event horizon.

Asimov, of course, knew this

Way back when computers

Were not ten-a-penny.

He knew the truth, or guessed

That the universe is one vast computer itself

And we are merely its slavish programmers.

Though not living out purposeless existences,

As some believe,

But proving that life does have some meaning:

We are the way for the universe to know itself

 

 

PEARL ENCRUSTED GATES

PEARL ENCRUSTED GATES

It’s the waiting you see

For something to happen

Or not, as the case may be

This limbo life limps on

Nothing changes

But another day gone

Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake

Without a new ache

And think – ah nothing’s wrong

But the delusion persists,

Or is it illusion?

That a mighty fall awaits

Outside these pearl encrusted gates

THE MEANING OF LIFE

 

Could somebody explain it to me, please!

THE MEANING OF LIFE

At the forefront of knowledge

Is the edge of uncertainty

Where reality is really

Only a projection of information

At the rim of the universe.

There, black holes loiter with intent.

They seek to break the sacred laws of physics

Which, as everyone knows, state

That information cannot be destroyed.

This is the point of no return.

All the information that ever existed is here

And black holes are held at bay – for now

What is inside is not inside

And what is outside is not outside.

We are merely holographic projections

Rendered flesh at this event horizon.

 

Asimov, of course, knew this

Way back when computers

Were not ten-a-penny.

He knew the truth, or guessed

That the universe is one vast computer itself

And we are merely its slavish programmers.

Though not living out purposeless existences,

As some believe,

But proving that life does have some meaning:

We are the way for the universe to know itself