ANDROID

IS ED SHEERIN AN ANDROID?

/ gorgeousgael / Leave a comment

imagesCAQ1ED9B

IS ED SHEERIN AN ANDROID?

Everywhere you look these days he’s there
Ed Sheerin
Strumming his plastic guitar
Smiling his geeky smile
Singing in his whiny voice
Best Album, Best Solo Artist
Come on, get real!
Writing his colour bling lyrics
Peddling his simpering vanilla sound
Sounding like his tongue got stuck in a mouse-trap
Then there’s his inane grin
His funky waistcoats
And his sexless chin
There’s more sex appeal in a pillow case
And he’s not even gay!
I suspect he is an android
That makes soothing noises when you pluck a string on its back
And I bet that close up he smells of WD40

HITCHBOT THE HITCHHIKER

/ gorgeousgael / Leave a comment

hitchhitchbot
HITCHBOT THE ROBOT WILL ATTEMPT TO HITCHHIKE ACROSS CANADA, STARTING ON 27th JULY. GOOD LUCK HITCH!

HITCHBOT THE HITCHHIKER

Hi! I’m Hitchbot and I’m hiking not biking
From Halifax to Victoria
Then maybe reverse the process
From British Columbia to Nova Scotia.
I have no driver’s licence – yet –
Otherwise your services I could forget.
I am short of stature
And I wear wellies when it’s wet.
I know I look like a dustbin on legs
And my thumbs are really
Just glove-covered pegs.
I have no neck to speak of
And there are times to be honest
When I am tempted to just sneak off
Into the Canadian dark
And comfort myself in some technology park.
I mean – a welly-wearing droid
Is something most drivers
Would swerve violently to avoid!