ENTRANCE B

ENTRANCE B

 Why are they so nice to us

Those denizens of the DHSS?

Oops! – wrong image,

It’s now the Employment Service…more or less

 

Raymond sported a badge which identified him

As ‘a member of the clerical support team’

I wanted to ask him what position,

But he was already away

With his ‘back-to-work’ scheme

 

I had to have a plan you see

That got me ‘gainful’ again;

What occupations could I list?

How much, where, when?

 

Well, let me see now;

I was a brain surgeon till times got tough

Then I tried circus strongman

Till my back cried enough;

Later, it was alligator-taming

Till I lost my bottle

Now I fancy Formula One driving

At full throttle

 

Raymond scribbled; the audience had ended

‘No inclination – benefit suspended’

 

What has happened to the barricades;

The litter-strewn floors,

The ‘them-and-us’ confrontations,

The glass partitions, the bolted-down chairs?

 

Open-plan dole-queues and carpeted floors?

I think I will get myself a job

There’s no soul in this place anymore.

 

 

 

BIGMAC RIDES AGAIN

The first chapter of a book I am working on.

 

   BIGMAC RIDES AGAIN

                                                

                                                            Chapter 1

 

The minister for fun was angry.  His cheeks had gone bright red he was so angry. Someone had stolen the games book.  Now all the fun would have to be cancelled. No more four-legged races, no more snail marathons, no more trampoline highs, no more egg-and-spoon skating handicaps – in fact no more nothing.  Without the book it was out of the question.  He did the one thing he didn’t want to do. He sent for BIGMAC.

                                                            …………..

‘Size fifty four, sir, is…unusual.’ The little man in the Large Bodies department of Harrison and Tweed looked up worriedly.  ‘You are very big’

 ‘Of course I am’ snapped BIGMAC. ‘It is my job to be big. It would look very silly if I was called BIGMAC and was only your size now, wouldn’t it’

‘Yes sir’

    ‘Then get on with it man.  I won’t bite you’

     Although it looked as if he might.  He pulled out a large turnip-shaped watch and shook it. ‘I sincerely hope this won’t take long.  I have an appointment with the Minister for fun at precisely’… he shook the watch vigorously…’very soon’

    ‘I shall be finished in four shakes of a cat’s tail’

    ‘Lamb’s tail.  The expression is five shakes of a lamb’s tail’ He continued to shake the watch.

    ‘Perhaps sir should invest in a new time-piece.  I understand that the new ones give you not only the time, but also the weather forecast and the football scores’

     ‘Yes. I’ve seen them.  Scattered rain and scoury showers.  Arsenal 4,  Leicester 1. I can’t be doing with all that nonsense’ He held up the watch.

‘Anyway, this isn’t really a watch.  Oh, it tells the time – sometimes – and it is correct at least twice a day, but it’s not what you call a watch, as such’.

      ‘What would sir call it?’

     ‘It’s a…’ He looked at the little man suspiciously. ‘You mean you have never seen one of these…objects before?’.

     The little man shook his head, and continued his walk around  BIGMAC, watching the reading on his digital tape measure. Satisfied, he punched the reading into the tailoring machine. Continue reading

HISTORY LESSONS

   

HISTORY LESSONS

 See the walking dead

And the carcasses piled high

Like wood on bonfire night;

Clothes, shoes, hair and jewellery

Neatly stacked in separate heaps

 

Gaunt history staring us in the face

 

Confetti droning overhead

Gently napalming young bodies

Flesh peeling

Delta-Mekong dots on the map

 

Where’s Daddy?

Gone to fight the yellow man

 

Burning deserts erupting

Below technology-laden skies

Push-button warfare

Timed for peak viewing.

 

Blind killing-fields

 

Scorched earth, scorched body;

What’s the difference?

taken from my new collection of poetry ’67’  http://www.tinhuttalespublishers.co.uk/67/

 

 

NO BLACKS NO DOGS, NO POLES

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This preview of my new play appeared yesterday in the London/Irish newspaper, the Irish World. However, sods law was at it nefarious work without anyone knowing, for no sooner than it had appeared than we had to postpone opening night for a week due to problems with the cast. It now runs from 20th May – 8th June. Ah well, these things are meant to try us! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

see my books @  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tom-OBrien/e/B0034OIGOQ/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1388083522&sr=1-2-ent

 

WIMBLEDON

WIMBLEDON

 I could write a poem about you

It might even say

‘I love you’

 

There would be hate;

A modicum of debate

About whether you were you

 

Or was it your dead-ringer I saw

Slurping in the arms of granite-jaw

When the forty-love shot was hailed

And you and lover-boy got nailed

 

TV doesn’t lie my dear;

Only one thing now is missing;

Who was that bastard you were kissing?

taken from;  http://www.tinhuttalespublishers.co.uk/67/

 

THE POWER OF ONE

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It is very difficult to motivate yourself to write something clever and witty when you look at your dashboard and see that you have had one visitor all day. ONE VISITOR! My grandfather has had more than that today – and he has been dead for 60 years!

Do we writers ever ask ourselves who or what are we writing for? I think I can safely say there are more writers around today than at any time in history. Recently somebody came up with a figure of 150 million blogs alone on the internet. I think I will do a Hemingway – get out my shotgun and blow my brains out!

Seriously, why do we do it? It’s not as if most of us are making any money out of it.

George Orwell says one motivation to write is sheer egoism, that we write out of the “desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on the grown-ups who snubbed you in childhood, etc., etc.”

It could be a reason I suppose, but it could just as easily be more Orwellian clap-trap.

Maybe we write to change the world? People consume now more than ever in the history of the world. We eat more, we listen to more music, and we consume more information. However, most people have the attention span of a gnat these days, so I don’t think that will wash.

To discover the meaning of life? Victor Frankl, the psychiatrist said “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.  Writers are uniquely gifted to find meaning for themselves and to help others find meaning. In fact, this has always been the main task of storytellers. Every story matters to the person living it, and our job is to tell the universal stories, the stories that reveal the story of every person on the earth”. Sound like a right load of psychiatric bollix to me!

I like Dylan Thomas’ words on the subject;

In my craft or sullen art

Exercised in the still night

When only the moon rages

And the lovers lie abed

With all their griefs in their arms,

I labour by singing light

Not for ambition or bread

Or the strut and trade of charms

On the ivory stages

But for the common wages

Of their most secret heart.

Not for the proud man apart

From the raging moon I write

On these spindrift pages                             

Nor for the towering dead

With their nightingales and psalms   

But for the lovers, their arms

Round the griefs of the ages,

Who pay no praise or wages

Nor heed my craft or art.

 

A DIFFERENT RACE

A DIFFERENT RACE

 The lighted first-floor windows illuminate them

Their good sides always facing outwards

Like so many beautiful birds they perch;

Silently caged,

Mouthing ‘For Sale’ pleasantries

 

Outside

Others less beautiful ply the darkness

Stalked by vermin

And the ghosts of their childhood

 

There is a rage

Unfurling flags of despair;

‘Look at what you have done’

Some are shouting

‘Don’t you care?’

 

These articulate ones are the ugliest

The least loved

And the loneliest

from my new book of poetry ’67’  http://www.tinhuttalespublishers.co.uk/67/

 

 

 

IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY

Just watched a short video. It showed a blind man seated on steps, begging, at a busy junction. His brown cardboard notice said ‘Please help me, I’m blind’. A few people threw some coins in his tin collection can, but most passed by uncaring. Then a young woman stops and reads the notice, before picking it up and writing on the back of it, then replacing it.

Before long the coins were rolling in. What did she write? simply this: IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND I CAN’T SEE IT.

SOMETIMES IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT’S HOW YOU SAY IT.

NO THANKS

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NO THANKS

 If I left you now, what would you miss?

Grumpy mornings, silent evenings

And taken-for-granted pause between the emptiness;

And hidden behind the tall tales, adultery;

Mental maybe, but real nevertheless

 

You dazed me in the park one Sunday’s summer afternoon.

 Your smile was electric.

Later, you hid your patience well

When freedom was dragged from under my feet.

You ticked of the (waiting) time

And I repaid you with monologues of deceit

 

There are those more deserving of your kindness;

Less selfish, less angry,

And less possessed of my bloody-mindedness.

You bore your cross to the edge and beyond.

Always hauling me back to the fold.

Snatches of love were your only compensation,

Were I a better man I would cloak you in gold

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                              The two scenes were photographed  at Rye Harbour, East Sussex

poem taken for my new book of poetry, available @  http://www.tinhuttalespublishers.co.uk/67/

 

 

THE MISSING POSTMAN AND OTHER STORIES

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The following is an extract from my book of short stories THE MISSING POSTMAN AND OTHER STORIES.

 

Chapter One

Seagulls screech at the sound of the approaching car, and its headlights pick them out wheeling away into the darkness. Martin Og shakes a fist at them as he drives to a stop near the front door of the weather-beaten cottage.

‘You might be the souls of dead fishermen but that won’t stop me blowing your bloody heads off the next time I get a clear shot at one of you’.

The only response is the inevitable splat on his front bonnet, before they vanish into the twilight. He gets out and slams the door, slinging his knapsack on his shoulder, and, ignoring the mess on the car front, limps to the front door.

He inserts a key and opens it, listening for a few moments before reaching in and switching on the room light

‘Blackie! Blackie! Where the feck are you gone to now?

The lights reveal a room that is in a terrible state; rubbish and stale food litter the table and chairs, bags of waste and empty whiskey bottles are stacked high against one wall. The paper on the walls is peeling, the photos and pictures faded. In fact the whole room looks as if it hasn’t been tidied for many years.

Against the back wall is a dresser, adorned with some faded willow-pattern crockery. An old fashioned radio sits on the dresser. Some hunting gear – a mixture of nets and traps – hang on one wall .A large square net, of the kind that sea fishermen use, hangs suspended from one half of the ceiling There is also a battered acoustic guitar and a ten-gallon hat hanging on pegs either side of the passageway. Two armchairs are situated in the shadows, one at either end of the room, their backs facing Martin Og.

He looks at them in puzzlement, first one then the other, but his puzzlement is almost immediately superseded by a look of grief when he spots the body of a dog lying between them. The dirty black beret he wears is whipped from his head, revealing a shock of white hair beneath. He lets the knapsack fall from his grasp as he hobbles towards the body.

‘Ah Blackie. Ah Jesus, Blackie…’

He picks the dog up in his arms and cradles it for a moment, then sits on a bentwood chair rocking the dog in his lap. He uses the beret to wipe the dog’s face.

He doesn’t notice for a moment as the two armchairs swivel round to face him. When he looks up he sees two figures seated in them

Both are in their early/mid twenties, and both are dressed in the trendy, designer-conscious manner of their peers. The man is cradling a shotgun in his arms; the girl has a metal strongbox resting on her lap, a handgun in her hand. She taps the box with the gun.

‘We need the key, Martin’.

‘Martin?’ He pauses. ‘Did you kill my dog?’

He was old’

Martin rises. ‘You killed my fucking dog…..’ The man raises the shotgun. ‘Be careful with that, it’s …not insured’.

‘Not insured, he says!’ The man laughs. ‘Look at it! What’s to insure?

I’ve got insurance. Lots of insurance’

Fire insurance?’

Yeah, fire insurance’. The girls looks around the room. ‘You got any fire insurance, Martin?’

‘Martin?’ You keep calling me Martin. Who are you people?’

The girl smiles at him this time, a big mouthful of pearl-white teeth. ‘Sorry. We should have introduced ourselves earlier. I’m Zoe. And that specimen over there is Zeb. Zeb and Zoe’. She smiles again. ‘Now, you got any fire insurance?’

Martin is beginning to think he must be in the throes of a nightmare. Surely he will wake up soon? ‘No. No fire insurance’.

‘Pity. Then you could burn the place down with impunity’

‘Why would I want to do that?’

Another laugh from Zoe. ‘Well, I mean…look at it!’

‘Impunity. That’s a good word.’ Zeb laughs softly

You like it, Zeb’.

Yeah, it’s cool. Burn the place down with impunity…I like that.’

Bet it all goes up like a bonfire’.

You reckon?Maybe we should…’

Continue reading